A Baby Bathwater story
Ten days before launch, a member of this group asked for help.
It started with one post. Here is what happened, and why I'm offering the same measurement and a free 20-minute consultation to members here, a handful at a time.
Justin Gordon, founder of ShakaCode. We've been making sites fast since 2015.
How it started
A beautiful new brand, a dated store still behind it, and a Bitcoin stage debut in ten days.
Don DeVange, a member here who runs the agency D2 Creative, posted an urgent ask: his client Snorkel was about to debut the HashTub (a cedar hot tub heated by a water-cooled Bitcoin miner, yes, really) on stage at Bitcoin 2026. Snorkel's owner, Michael Diederich, had a beautiful new brand, but the store behind it, in Michael's own words, "threw you back fifteen years." Ten days on the clock, and a date that could not move.
We connected, and ShakaCode pulled in three senior developers to finish the new store alongside Don's team and make it fast. We shipped on the date.
The result
Michael debuted on stage with the new site live behind him.
The problem was the one everyone knows: people on their phones, staring at a page that has not shown anything yet, and leaving. At a conference, nobody waits.
The heaviest page, an image-heavy customizer, dropped from a 64MB download to 7MB. The shopping page went from 2MB to 100KB.
From "can you help" to a launch on stage. The deadline held.
The live store kept selling the entire time. Our AI compared every page before and after, pixel by pixel, and not a single checkout broke.
Accessibility hit 100 at launch, with every scan clean, which also helps search ranking.
"Now it's super slick. I don't know what wizardry and magic you put into that, but that was a big impact for me."
Michael Diederich, owner of Snorkel, after debuting the HashTub on stage at Bitcoin 2026
Speeding up sites is what my team does, for stores, apps, and funnels where slow pages cost real customers. Every gain we report is a real measured number, not an estimate. Read the full Snorkel story →
The report
What we'll review together.
A real page from Snorkel's live site, filmed frame by frame on a phone over a slower mobile connection, the kind you hit in a packed conference hall. Watch their inspiration gallery jump around as it loads: the same read you would get for any page of yours.
Every report opens with a plain-English verdict, written by our AI and reviewed by me before it reaches you: whether the page is good, okay, or has a real problem, why, and what it costs you. For this page the verdict is that it jumps around as it loads: it scores 0.58 on Google's layout-shift scale, where anything above 0.25 counts as poor, pulls 2.7 MB before the main content shows, and is still shifting under your visitor's thumb 30 seconds in.
Also in the report: how your site reads to AI assistants. ChatGPT and the others fetch your page but run none of its code, so they can miss nearly half of what a visitor sees. Snorkel's pages read 68 out of 100 to them.
This gallery page went in as a quick request from Don right after the launch we shipped, so it never went through our performance work. That makes it a fair example of what the report flags on a page nobody has optimized.
The offer
Want this for your site?
Site speed is the last thing you have time to babysit, and nobody hands you a straight answer on whether it is quietly costing you customers. That is the whole reason this exists.
- 1
Send me a link or two
The pages you care about most, your site or a client's. No access needed, nothing to install, just a public link.
- 2
We film and measure it
My team runs your pages through the measurement system we built, the way your slowest customer loads them: on a phone, over a real mobile network, no shortcuts.
- 3
We review it together
You and I take 20 minutes on Zoom. You watch your pages load frame by frame, and I tell you straight which page is costing you the most, what it is costing you, and whether it is a quick fix or a real project. You keep the full report.
A few quick answers
Before you send a link
Is this going to turn into a sales call?
The 20-minute Zoom is how I deliver the result, but it is not a pitch. If the review turns up work you want to hand off, ask me. If you would rather skip the call and get the report by email, say so. That is fine too.
What if I already have a team?
No problem. Hand it straight to your developers or agency: they get a clear picture of what is slow and where, with none of the guesswork. And when your team wants a second set of hands, that is us, using the same measurement system to prove every improvement and break nothing.
Is it really free?
Yes. The consultation and full report are free for members. The system does most of the measurement work, and I review every one myself before it reaches you. It is also how we meet new clients. If it turns up something worth fixing and you want a hand, you can ask, but I will not chase you. If your site is already fast, I will tell you that in the first ten minutes.
Send me your link.
This is free for members while I can give each one real attention, so I take a handful at a time. Send me a public link or two, and I'll reply to arrange 20 minutes on Zoom reviewing what your pages cost you. You keep the full report.
Or email me directly: justin@shakacode.com
I only test public pages, nothing behind a login.